nature calls

Okay, so I’ve been trying to figure this one out. Where is it acceptable to fart? With all my recent stomach issues, I’ve had alot of gas buildup and have run into this question more than usual.

Places I would think should be fart-friendly, but turn out not to be:

the bathroom at work: you run the risk of having your boss or coworker walk in, not good.

the gym locker room: again, too many people you may need to talk to in the future.

me cube at work: this one is where I have the most trouble. Our office is about as quiet as a library, disturbing the silience with, even with a short one-note squeak is too much. There isn’t even an occasional loud noise to mask anything; nope, any small noise is registered by everyone.

home: unless you’re completely alone, this doesn’t work either. My house hasn’t been empty for nearly a month. Even in my bedroom, with the door closed, if I let nature’s noise out, I would be caught.

The car on the way home is the best place I’ve found, which kinda bites if you feel the bubbles starting around 11AM.